Bliss and Love is Letting Go of FEAR

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FEAR - False Expectations Appearing Real.

Most of what we fear is not Real. Most fears are a projection of an "expectation" of something that may happen moments into the future. Though we believe it is real and our mind-body responds to the thing that we fear as if it's already happened. Fear is mostly a product of events in our environment and externalization of it by us and others. Generally these days we are not being chased by a predator trying to eat us. Most of the time it's a thought, spoken words, or an unconscious act from another sends us into a state of fear and response.

How often do you find yourself going into a state of fear from an email, a text, a call, a social media posting, your boss or someone saying something, being in a dark place, or a piece of news for example?

In essence we are spirit, mind, emotions, and body split down the center holding within us the struggles between the core emotions of Love and Fear in this lifetime.

So how do we come into a state of fear and how do we let go of fear that is not real and come into a place of greater peace and love within (free ourselves from the internal prison of struggle)? How about all the wasted time and energy, lost relationships, jobs, etc. ? What could we accomplish instead with all that time and energy?

Over a decade of personal experience in my own journey of healing and letting go of fear, my extensive training and work with clients has shown me that:

We are layered and complex beings, and throughout life our experiences create beliefs, and associated stories and strategies (justifications and actions) within us to help us deal with the world outside of us (events, people, etc). These strategies and stories are rooted in beliefs that are ultimately either based in fear (survival level fear if those experiences occur pre-birth to age 10-12) or love. And there are deep emotions attached to them that emanate either from fear or love.

Our animal mind-body is simply hard wired to store all those experiences in their totality in our subconscious mind-body in the form of beliefs, stories and strategies. With our superpower in pattern matching we use all the inputs from our six senses consciously and unconsciously in order to prevent similar bad experience from happening again. Chances of that exact same experience happening again is pretty close to nonexistent. If those experiences were properly processed at the time they happened, we could garner the lessons we need and let the fear go.

Our response to fear based on those stored experiences and beliefs is generally fight, flight, freeze, or please (or be performative). And our general strategy is to either try to control (an illusion), manipulate/lie, hide our true selves, stay small, numb or armor up against the external world events as coping mechanism so that we don’t feel the emotions and struggle within - it's too painful most of the time. So much wasted energy and time.

These beliefs and experiences are embedded and held deep within the subconscious mind-body. The conscious mind only has access to the stories and strategies for the most part, and responds with them seconds after the subconscious mind-body has already activated all the fear response mechanisms - we are grabbed at that point. We know the subconscious mind-body out performs the conscious mind at a ratio of 95% to 5% (roughly) in processing power on the average.

Generally it is difficult or next to impossible to modify the subconscious mind-body with the conscious mind for deep fear based beliefs (maybe with 40 years of Zen - and I don’t believe that’s achievable or feasible for a significant majority of us).

Fortunately we have a plethora of tools and resources available to us today for this work, though only a few can take us deep enough to process (access, release and revise) those experiences and associated beliefs that we hold in their entirety in our subconscious mind-body (plethora of published science and maps around this topic). Extensive mediation, Yoga, Neural feedback, Breath-work, Art, Music, EMDR, MFR, Mindfulness Centered Somatic Psycho-therapy, hypnotherapy for those not immune, writing an autobiography and plant allies/derivatives are some of those to just tools and resources just to name a few.

When we are stuck in and continuously recite our stories, in essence we call in repeated similar experiences, and our ego further fortifies the fear based strategies (via validation). “See I was right, I knew this would happen.”

Some of the core fear based beliefs that activate those stories and strategies are generally:

I’m not lovable or likable

I’m not enough

I’m not worthy

I’m too much

I’m not smart enough

I'm not safe

I have no agency

I'm powerless, etc.

We also call them our shadows, our little wounded child, or fragmented parts of ourselves that need to be brought to light and integrated/embodied. The deeper the wounding/trauma, the stronger the fear of survival, and greater the fragmentation of parts of our true self.

If we don’t address these core beliefs stored deep in the subconscious mind-body through a process of access, release (psychological, spiritual and emotional/somatic body), and revise and integrate (embody new patterns/strategies) we continue to be in our prison fear, and scarcity. We relinquish our agency, power, and freedom to those that promise to keep us from harm. No one can keep us safe from our own fears. Safety and security comes from within, not from without.

The analogy of a rotten tooth or damaged root may shed some light here. A filling or root canal may provide temporary relief, while the only long term remedy is to extract that tooth. The only way forward to transformation from an unhealthy response/strategy to a healthy response/strategy to fear is to root out and let go of the fear based belief and experience in all layers of our being.

With another grounded, centered, compassionate, wise and experienced guide or being and with tools to access the deep subconscious mind-body (in a secure attachment and space held in safety), we have proven that we can access, release and revise those fear based beliefs and experiences, and heal our wounds over a much shorter period of time, and less energy (in the longer run). And it's always within the domain of our will and agency to decide which path we want to take.

Who will we become if we let go of our dear old friend - fear that is not real? What do we do with all the energy, time and agency we gain from letting go of these fears? We become all, we thrive, we grow, we become more powerful, and we find more peace, bliss, love, intimacy and connection in our lives. We make more money, fulfill our desires wants and needs, and live from a mindset of abundance instead of scarcity .....

Be intentional, work with a great guide with plant allies, and stay involved and engaged in a conscious community of support has been my path. I just didn't have decades to heal and let go of those beliefs to become a better version of myself living from a place of peace, love and compassion with my kids, friends, partners, clients and community.

Family is another story. Ram Dass once said and I paraphrase - if you think you are enlightened visit your family for thanksgiving 😂

With love, and gratitude

~Rām 🙏🏽❤️✨🪶

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